Reviewed
2000
Authoritative
Parenting Involves Balance
Ronald
L. Pitzer
Authoritative parenting, according to Lawrence Steinberg, is the reasonable
balance of three major aspects of parents' behavior toward their children-nurturance,
discipline and respect. The balance of these three is critical for effective
parenting, and holds across cultures and economic circumstances.
Parental
Responsiveness (love, warmth, nurturance): Parental responsiveness
is the extent to which parents respond to the child's needs in an accepting,
supportive manner. It is a very powerful force in the development of
children, and most children probably do not get enough. Nurturance helps
children feel loved, secure, and cared about, and it fosters children's
acceptance of discipline and parental demands. There are many ways to
respond and nurture children, including listening attentively spending
time with children, being available, and giving more attention to that
which pleases and less to that which does not ("catch them being good").
Parental
Demandingness (discipline, control) Demandingness is the
extent to which a parent expects and demands responsible behavior from
children. This dimension includes both setting and enforcing rules or
limits on children. In order to be enforced, rules must be clear, reasonable,
developmentally appropriate, fair and just, mutually agreed upon, flexible,
and emphasize what to do rather just what not
to do. Enforcement of rules is much more than just punishment. Indeed,
punishment is probably the least effective of the alternatives available.
Monitoring and understanding children's behavior, preventing misbehavior,
rewarding good behavior, and guidance are more effective tools.
Parents
vary on how they balance these two dimensions. Some parents are warm
and accepting while others are unresponsive or even rejecting. Some
parents are demanding and expect a great deal of their child, while
others are permissive and demand very little. The four parenting
styles created by the interplay of high and low parental responsiveness
and demandingness are shown in the following graph.
- Parents
who are responsive but not at all demanding
are permissive.
- Parents
who are equally responsive and demanding
are authoritative.
- Parents
who are demanding but not very responsive
are autocratic.
- Parents
who are neither demanding nor responsive
are unengaged.
Granting
Psychological Autonomy (Respect) This somewhat complicated
sounding concept is increasingly being recognized by scholars to be
equally as important as responsiveness and demandingness, particularly
as children reach adolescence. This concept helps to clarify parental
control, by distinguishing between behavioral and psychological
control.
According
to Steinberg, the child development literature indicates that "adolescents
appear to be adversely affected by psychological control-interference
in the youngster's psychological autonomy-and positively influenced
by behavioral control or the presence of demandingness."
Inadequate parental control deprives the child of guidance and supervision
and therefore places the child at risk for developmental difficulties.
Too much psychological control can limit the young person's opportunity
for self-discovery, disrupt the establishment of identity, undermine
confidence, and result in inadequate understanding and expression of
emotions.
One
reason this third dimension-granting psychological autonomy-has
been overlooked in much of the socialization literature is because that
literature consists heavily of studies of young children. The psychological
autonomy dimension does not emerge as a critical variable until children
reach early adolescence, around age 10 or 11, and begin to establish
an independent psychological identity.
The
University of Minnesota's Positive Parenting project has been evolving
a conceptual framework built around the these three concepts-responsiveness
(or nurturance), demandingness (or discipline), and granting of psychological
autonomy (or respect) - which guides its research, educational materials
and professional development efforts. For further information about
this conceptual framework and the many parenting tools or practices
that derive from it, see the Positive Parenting curricula, parent materials,
or website (www.parenting.umn.edu).
The Positive Parenting team welcomes your questions and suggestions.
(Citations and sources for this article are available on request)
Ronald
L. Pitzer
Professor of Social Work, Project Director of Positive Parenting
University of Minnesota Extension Service.
Originally published in Spring 2000 Consortium Connections,
Vol 9(2), Children Youth and Family Consortium, University of Minnesota
School
of Social Work in cooperation with the University of Minnesota Extension
Service
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