Children, Youth and Family Consortium

University of Minnesota

270A McNamara Center

200 Oak Street SE

Minneapolis, MN 55455

612/626-1253

©1998, Children, Youth and Family Consortium

Child-adult attachment must become a lens through which we view decisions touching the lives of children. Our children are the hope of the future, but they are in trouble. Over 14.3% live in poverty; 2.7 million are neglected or abused, more and more are dropping out of school and out of life; suicide among teenagers is on the rise; adolescent children are having children; they are killing each other, and they are killing their future.

A secure attachment in infancy lays the foundation for healthy, competent development in later years. Without it, children are at risk. They are likely to have difficulty forming relationships, exhibit anti-social behavior, and lack confidence, enthusiasm and persistence that facilitate success in school and work. Recent research shows the early relationship with a caregiver becomes a prototype for interactions and relationships a child will have later in life.

Attachment must be used as a lens to review any programs that affect children. The scope of considerations is broad: societal attitudes and beliefs about children; health care and mental health services and education; economic influences; workplace policies and practices; the judicial system; foster care and adoption decisions; child care; single parent families; mentor programs; and many more.

Society must support children's opportunities to develop strong, secure attachments.

In contrast, attachment is a mutual, reciprocal relationship in which the child is an active, knowing partner. It is a relationship that develops gradually during the early months and years of a child's life.

Children who have not been able to develop a secure attachment are likely to exhibit the following behaviors:

A general lack of persistence and confidence in mastering one's environment; over-dependence on teachers for help and attention; lack of confidence, self-esteem and motivation to learn; difficulty forming friendships; disobedience and aggression; social withdrawal. Their behavior makes them vulnerable to becoming either a victim or victimizer. As their behavior drives others away, their negative models of self and others are reinforced.

• Supporting natural neighborhood caregivers (e.g. churches, youth centers);

• Providing education and support for new parents; offering family life/child development education starting in junior and senior high school;

• Supporting workplace policies that are sympathetic to and understanding of family issues;

• Establishing criteria and programs to identify families with potential attachment problems early so supportive intervention may be offered;

• More effectively incorporating knowledge of attachment into decisions related to adoption, foster care, and child custody disputes;

• Providing long-term mentorship programs to allow children additional opportunities to form meaningful relationships with caring adults.

• 20% of white infants and 70% of black infants are born to young, unmarried mothers.

• 380,000 children drop out of school each year.

• 53% of all identified homicide perpetrators in 1993 were under the

age of 25

• The number of arrests for homicides committed by youth under age 18 increased by 168% from 1984-1993

• By 2010, the number of violent crimes committed by youth is projected to double

Too many people in our nation are disconnected, caring little and doing less. Children are growing up seeing violence as their only option, their only voice. How did we arrive at this point of rampant violence and alienation? Where did we go wrong?

Certainly there are many causes on many levels, but one major reason we have reached this point is captured by recent research on the important role of attachment in human development. This research, as explained in detail later, demonstrates how a child's earliest relationships with adults influence subsequent learning, feelings, and behavior--the ability and willingness to behave responsibly and care for others. It is research that has much to say to anyone who makes decisions that affect children and families.

In writing this paper we in no way are offering a prescription for how to "fix" our troubled society. But this paper is, we believe, an important step in examining one of the critical root causes of the problems we have today: the fact that countless children are growing up without ever knowing the warmth and security of a stable, loving attachment with a parent or other adult. We do not--and can not--provide easy answers to what programs and policies will make a difference; but we do begin to articulate some of the questions that should frame the discussion. And we do this in the context of research knowledge that must be incorporated into any discussion of how to restore, revitalize, and empower American families and communities.

Specifically, in this paper, we:

• clarify the meaning of child-caregiver "attachment" and its importance in lifelong development;

• summarize research findings that demonstrate how different types of early attachment influence the course of a child's development;

• identify factors that have been shown to support the development of "secure" attachments between children and their primary caregivers;

• articulate a set of questions that begins to examine how public policy and programs either support or hinder children's opportunities to form secure attachments that will nurture their development and help them grow to be responsible, caring members of our society.

While relationships play a central role at all stages of development, recent research points in particular to the importance of a child's earliest relationships with his her primary caregivers, what researchers refer to as "attachment." As explained in detail later, a secure attachment in infancy lays the foundation for healthy development in later years. Without a secure attachment in infancy, children are significantly at risk for a wide range of poor outcomes, including difficulty in forming relationships, antisocial behavior, and a lack of the confidence, enthusiasm, and persistence that would facilitate success in school and work.

This information about the importance of attachment is both old and new. It is old information in that for generations many people have known firsthand just how much their early relationships influenced how they think of themselves, how they relate to others, and in general, how they live their lives. It is new in that recent research provides strong scientific evidence of the critical role of attachment in human development and takes us to new depth and detail in understanding how attachments are formed and how they influence who we are.

We know enough about the importance of attachment--and, more broadly, about supportive relationships with adults--that we can and must act on this knowledge. Some people say that we already have wasted a generation of children, that we have allowed children to grow up without a sense of their own worth and without the security of knowing that there are adults who love and care for them. We are paying an enormous political and social price for the neglect of our children, with increased violence, crime, and a growing sense of fear and disunity. We cannot afford to waste the generation of babies being born today.

• What are the economic conditions that make it possible or impossible for adults to be available (physically and emotionally) to meet their children's needs?

• What workplace policies and practices allow or prevent families from fulfilling their basic caregiving functions?

• To what extent do family court procedures and decisions support or hinder children's attachments to their adult caregivers?

• In cases where children can not have a secure attachment in their own family, how do we give them the opportunity to form attachments to other adults through such avenues as childcare, school, church, or mentor programs?

• And to what extent do we provide education and support to parents and other caregivers to help them build the kind of adult-child relationships that will support the children's optimal development?

Understanding child-adult attachment must become a lens through which we consider all decisions that touch the lives of children. This is not a conservative, liberal, Democrat or Republican, issue. It is a universal, human issue. When we use knowledge of attachment to guide our thinking about programs and policies that affect children, we may arrive at some decisions that sound conservative and others that sound liberal. It is time to move beyond these divisive labels and come together to figure out how we can give today's children a chance to grow up to be healthy, competent, caring adults.

If we are going to use attachment as a guiding concept, we need to begin with a clear understanding of what attachment is and is not. Following are answers to some of the questions that frequently are raised about attachment.

Bonding vs. attachment. In research literature on parent-child relationships, the term bonding has been used to refer to what happens between an infant and caregiver during the first hours and days of life--the kind of warm, close feelings that a parent experiences as he or she relates to the infant with coos and gurgles, holding and looking at the child. Research in the 1970s suggested that this early bonding experience was vital to the long-term development of the child and that, without such early close contact, the relationship between the infant and caregiver could be irrevocably damaged.

While these research findings led to some positive changes in maternal-child care (e.g. allowing parents and babies to "room-in" during the hospital stay), the findings also generated anxiety among parents who, for one reason or another, did not experience a warm bonding time with their newborns. It is important to know that subsequent research has challenged the earlier findings on neonatal bonding, citing methodological flaws in the earlier research. Although such bonding time can be a positive experience for families, enriching the time after the baby's birth, there is no strong evidence that the lack of a neonatal bonding experience will be harmful to the child's longterm development or to the parent-child relationship. On the other hand, as described later, research on attachment (as distinguished from neonatal bonding) provides strong evidence of its importance to lifelong development.

• Secondly, bonding describes an experience that, to a large extent, is more one-sided than attachment. In the early moments of life the infant is not mature enough to be an active, knowing partner in a relationship with the caregiver.

Thus bonding is largely the parent's experience. In contrast, attachment is a mutual, reciprocal relationship in which the child becomes a full partner, purposefully working to maintain the relationship with the caregiver. Attachment starts to develop as soon as the infant and caregiver begin to interact, but it is not fully established until the infant matures enough physically, emotionally, and intellectually to be a full and knowing partner in the relationship--usually near the end of the first year of life.

Infants have a strong inclination to form attachments and nearly all children develop at least one attachment as long as there is an adult around to whom the child has an opportunity to become attached. However, attachments vary in quality and not all attachments serve the best interest of the child. Recent research has shown that this early relationship with the caregiver becomes a prototype for interactions and relationships the child will have later in life. This becomes significant for social and political reasons that will be discussed later.

In general, a secure attachment is reflected in a child's ability to use the caregiver as a secure base from which to explore the world, and to see the caregiver as a reliable source of comfort during times of stress and distress. Specifically, during the Strange Situation Procedure, a child who is securely attached plays and explores with confidence and enthusiasm in the presence of the attachment figure, periodically sharing a look, vocalization, a smile, or showing the caregiver a toy. This child is not unduly upset by the presence of a stranger as long as the caregiver is nearby. When the caregiver leaves the room, the securely attached child may be upset or may merely show a decreased interest in play. Although there are wide individual differences in how infants respond during the Strange Situation, regardless of the degree of upset, the securely attached child will show clear signs of pleasure and/or relief when the caregiver returns. If crying, the child will readily seek and accept comfort from the caregiver, and that comfort will be effective in helping the child settle and return to play and exploration. If not distressed, those with secure attachments show active greetings and strongly initiate interaction. It is important to note that the amount or intensity of crying during separation is not a measure of the child's security with the parent; rather what is important is the degree to which the child responds to the caregiver once he or she returns, by ceasing crying or seeking contact.

This behavior may be readily observed in naturalistic situations--a doctor's office, for example--as a securely attached child crawls or toddles about the waiting room, looking back occasionally to the caregiver for assurance and comfort. The child explores, using the caregiver as a secure base. If the caregiver were to leave the room, the child's confidence to explore would disappear. At this period of development, a child's security is in the relationship, rather than within the child. But we can infer--and, in fact, research supports--that as the child matures, the security felt in the relationship will be internalized as a part of who the child is. The child who has felt secure in earlier attachment with a primary caregiver will be more secure in moving out into the world, exploring and learning from all that life has to offer.

As the child matures and ventures out into the larger social world, the basic trust in the caregiver and in self is carried forward, influencing the child's expectations and behavior in subsequent relationships with other adults and peers. While not an inoculation against later problems, secure attachments in infancy lay the foundation for healthy development and provide children with the beginning tools they need to reach their developmental potential. Secure attachment serves as a platform for the child to become an active, responsible member of society. Specifically, attachment researchers, who have followed children longitudinally from birth, observe that in preschool and the early school years the securely attached child is likely to be: cooperative with teachers and peers; enthusiastic in approaching learning tasks and social situations; persistent in problem solving; socially competent and able to form relationships easily; and less aggressive and more empathic than children who have not had a secure attachment in infancy. In general, teachers rate securely attached children as having higher self-esteem and being more competent.

Not surprisingly, teachers and peers tend to respond positively to these children, and this reinforces the positive expectations of the securely attached children. In effect, we see a self-perpetuating cycle of interactions, increasing the likelihood that the securely attached child will carry these positive attitudes, expectations, and behaviors into adulthood.

Interestingly, these research findings bring into question two longstanding American child rearing myths:

• The second myth states that little boys should not be hugged, cuddled or receive attention when they cry or seek comfort, because they will grow up to be weak, less resourceful, and less competent. As with the spoiling myth, attachment research shows the opposite to be true. Little girls and little boys benefit when a consistent caregiver is available to respond to their needs. They learn that the world is a safe place, that they can ask for comfort and understanding, and that they can be--and deserve to be--a part of a close, social network.

The anxious-avoidant pattern of attachment stems from experience with a caregiver who is chronically unresponsive to the baby's efforts to solicit and receive care and attention. Early in life this baby may have worked hard to engage the caregiver. (As previously mentioned, nearly all babies have a strong inclination to attach.) But by one year of age this baby has effectively given up. It is almost as if the infant is saying, "I’m going to reject you before you can reject me." Parents of a child with this type of attachment also may be intrusive and interfering, imposing their agenda on the baby without regard for the needs and interests the baby is communicating. For example, a parent might forcefully shove a bottle in the baby's mouth even as the baby turns away or pushes the bottle away. Or a parent might smother the baby's face with kisses as the baby squirms to get away. Whether the parent is detached, intrusive, or both, the baby learns, "What I want doesn't count."

- face the pain we experienced in childhood (and everyone did experience hurt on some level, at some times);

- acknowledge the lasting influence of those childhood experiences, particularly on the way we relate to our own children and others with whom we form intimate relationships;

- recognize that we all have choices now, and that we can choose what to repeat and what not to repeat from our own childhood experiences;

- muster all the available resources to help us live up to those choices.

On the other hand, certainly some children do show greater resiliency than others. In particular, there surely are children who are competent and well-adjusted despite the lack of a secure attachment in infancy. While resiliency has been shown to relate to a variety of inherent and environmental factors, across all studies of vulnerability and resilience, the single most important factor accounting for good outcomes in the face of high-risk circumstances is a relationship with a caring, supportive adult. This brings us full circle to attachment: children need at least one secure attachment in the early months of life within the child's own home. When this is not possible, we must ensure that the child has an opportunity to develop an attachment elsewhere that can help the child develop trust in others and learn that s/he is worthy of love and care.

• How can we ensure education and support for new parents? (Home visiting; parenting classes; adequate training and supervision for service providers so that they understand attachment issues and are prepared to address the "therapeutic" issues that research says are important.)

• To what extent do workplace policies support or hinder parents' opportunities to form secure attachments with their infants and young children? (Parental leave; childcare, onsite if possible; flexible scheduling.)

• Will it be effective to provide family life/child development education for students in our secondary schools to prepare young people for the challenges of parenting?

• How can we incorporate knowledge of attachment more effectively into decisions related to adoption, foster care, and child custody disputes?