Older kids benefit
from parent involvement -- whether they invite or not
When
sixth graders begin middle school, suddenly it's not cool to have your
parents hanging around the school. "Drop me at the corner," they plead.
"Don't say "hi" to me if you see me in the halls," they warn.
In what is a normal part of child development, 11- and 12- year-olds
begin to pull away from their parents and value their independence --
particularly at the middle school level.
Unfortunately,
the distance children try to put between themselves and their parents
have a dampening effect on family involvement in schools. And although
preteens and teens say they don't want their families at or involved
in their schools, researchers and family involvement coordinators say
that everyone benefits when families gently insist on remaining involved.
"Parents
often give in to kids who say they don't want their parents around,"
says Allen Clark, family/community involvement coordinator at Anthony
Middle School in Minneapolis. "But when parents do step up, their kids
do better - academically and socially.
"Parents
have an easier time understanding and building relationships at the
elementary level, and grade schools are set up to nurture the children.
Middle schools aren't as simple to understand, plus instead of a single
teacher to communicate with, there are five to seven teachers. And the
teachers have an average of 125 students. They can't make as many phone
calls as they'd like."
Three real barriers
to family involvement at school
Clark
sees three primary barriers, besides student attitudes, to parent involvement
at Anthony. First, only 35 percent of the students at Anthony come from
the surrounding neighborhood. The rest are transported from other areas
of the city, meaning that parents, who may not have access to cars,
often have transportation and childcare issues. Another issue is lack
of time.
In
families where bother parents work or there is a single parent, with
children going to different schools that may hold parent-teacher conferences
and activities on the same days or nights, parents are stretched pretty
thin. Sometimes they have to choose to attend on child's school function
over another's. Usually, he says, they choose to visit the school where
they feel they need the most communication with the teachers. Often,
they choose to connect with an elementary school, because kids at that
age are building basic skills in reading and math.
All
teachers and school staff need to understand the family challenges that
get in the way of being involved in their children's schools, according
to Clark. "Too often we have an attitude toward parents who don't come
to conferences," says Clark. "I've learned not to make assumptions and
to be less judgmental of families who aren't obviously involved. If
they don't show up at school that doesn't mean they donĚt care about
their children's education.
"We
need to work at building relationships with families, so parents fell
comfortable and confident when they contact their child's school. And
if parents can take time to be involved in classrooms, we should welcome
them."
Student
behavior improves when parents are around, according to Clark. "When
I was young, if you messed up, you knew there would be a pair of eyes
on you, and someone would tell your parents," he said. "Things have
changed so much. Teachers today are asked to be moms, dads and social
workers. In addition, having parents in the classrooms is a good way
for word to spread that schools are not a bad place to be."
Anthony
is working hard toward better communication with parents. The school
has three regular newsletters, a student assignment planner that must
be signed weekly by parents to ensure homework is completed, and plans
to install phones in every classroom and to develop a school Web site
to publicize school activities and programs.
Clark
kicked off this school year with a program to engage "Sixth Grade as
Partners." Every Thursday in November was devoted to school staff getting
to know the concerns of sixth-grade parents. The day started with coffee
and pastries and a chance for parents to share with school staff and
parent peers their concerns about their students' transition to middle
school.
Then
parents were invited to tour the school and spend time observing and
helping in the classrooms. They were also invited to have a complimentary
school lunch and to stay after school for he tutoring program. Evening
meetings were also available to parents who couldn't make it to school
during the day.
Less
than a dozen parents took advantage of the morning meetings, but based
on their discussions, Clark has fanned the enthusiasm of a core group
who are likely to remain active during their children's three-year tenure
at Anthony Middle School. That could add up to hundreds id not thousands
of hours of school support. And more importantly, students at Anthony
will get the benefit of a tem of parents who are committed to improving
educational opportunities at their school.
